Ancestry and Adoption

So, a couple of things have been on my mind a lot over the last year, but especially so in the last week or two.  Several months ago I began researching my family history.  I scanned a bunch of pictures my grandparents have of relatives and shared an account on ancestry.com with another relative that I didn't meet in person for another 6 months! :o) (She and my mom know each other, but I had never met her.)  As I began finding people I'm related to and getting to write a few stories down that I've heard since I was little, I found myself wishing I could have known more of these people.  My great-great-great-grandfather came over from Ireland as a stowaway (or so the family legend goes) and it wasn't just because he couldn't afford the fare.  Evidently he'd done something awful that the family just doesn't talk about.  (Supposedly my great-grandfather knew what he'd done, but he died laughing on his death bed because he never told anyone and he just thought that was hilarious.  No fair!  Inquiring minds 50 years later want to know!!) :o)  But I find myself wishing that families didn't have the need to keep secrets.  I wish I knew more about my Dad's parents, but neither of them were real big talkers and my Mamma died when I was 7 so I never got to ask her the questions I would have liked to.  And now that my Pappa has passed, I won't have the opportunity to ask him either.  I wonder what secrets my grandchildren and their children will want to know about me someday.  Or will they even care?  I, unfortunately, didn't care until just a few months ago and by then many of my relatives have gone on.  It's challenged me to write down the stories about my parents and grandparents that I can remember so that someday I will hopefully have children who will be able to know their family.

So, that leads to the second topic that has filled my thoughts of late.  Adoption.  It's something that I have always been intrigued by and when I was young I thought it would be so much fun to adopt a child from every culture around the world.  :) I had big aspirations.  But in the last few years, adoption has been something I've seriously thought about and prayed over.  Due to a medical issue that I was diagnosed with 3 years ago, it's possible that I won't be able to have my own children.  This was something that it took me awhile to come to terms with, but as I've faced other things related to this condition recently, adoption has taken on a whole new fascination for me.  How awesome for your children to be able to say they were chosen by you.  I would love to be a home for a child who didn't have one.  For children who didn't have one.  I've told my friends that I wouldn't be good at working in an orphanage because I'd want to take them all home and the more I think and pray about it, the more that really becomes my hearts cry.  To be able to take a child home.  I realize there is a lot to this idea, but someday, whether I can have biological children or not, I'd like to adopt.  And share my ancestry with them. :)

Amazing Grace....

Do you have a song that you just never get tired of?  One of those songs that you could listen to millions of times in a row and still want to listen to it again?  I have my music on random at the moment and Amazing Grace (Chris Tomlin's version) is playing and this is one of those songs for me.  This song brings incredible thoughts and peace to my heart.  The emotions tied to this song are incredible for me.  I'm reminded of experiences with the Lord's Supper at church, I have visions of the incredible picture that Amazing Grace the movie puts in my head in connection to this song, and then I'm reminded of my own life.  Without His grace I would be so lost.  My life would have no meaning.  I would be a wanderer in this life, but instead He has redeemed me.  I am now a sojourner on my way to my true home.  And someday I will be able to praise my incredible Father face-to-face for the grace He has provided for mankind!  My heart waits peacefully and expectantly for that day.

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost, but now am found.

Was blind, but now I see.

My chains are gone, I've been set free,

My God, my Saviour has ransomed me.

And like a flood, His mercy rains,

Unending Love, Amazing Grace.

The Lord has promised good to me,

His Word, my hope secures.

He will my sheild and portion be,

as long as life endures.

The Earth shall soon disolve like snow,

The sun forget to shine.

But God, who called me here below,

Will be forever mine!"

The Undetected Sacredness of Circumstances

Once again God has used Oswald Chambers to speak through time from the early 1900's to my heart now in 2009.  Specifically on this day, in this moment.  I've been convinced for a long time that there is no such thing as chance.  Events, both big and small, and circumstances, both major and minor, are ordained by God and allowed to happen for a reason.  Some reasons He reveals to me instantly, others in time and others I will never know.  But I can always trust that He is in control, whatever the circumstances.

Today is a day when I have once again questioned my circumstances.  I see people around me who are in circumstances I want to be in (both personally and ministry wise) and ask, "God, why not me?  Why am I where I am doing what I'm doing?"  And then I pick up Chambers.  I usually read this in the morning, but today it was at night, and again God knew what He was doing.  Throughout the day I had been drawn to Romans 8:28, "All things work together for good, for those who love God."  I've struggled with this verse in the past because I look at other people's lives and say, "God, they love you with all their hearts and yet they are going through these awful circumstances."  I don't see how these circumstances can be used for good.  But it says they will be in His Word.

Well, back to Chambers.  I pick it up and, surprise surprise, Romans 8:28 is the verse today.  And he brought a new perspective to this verse.  One my brain is still chewing on.  First, he said, "The circumstances of a saint's life are ordained by God.  In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance.  God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you cannot understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands."  Here's where the new perspective comes in: "God is bringing you into places and among people and into conditions in order that the intercession of the Spirit in you may take a particular line....You part in intercessory prayer is not to enter into the agony of intercession, but to utilize the common-sense circumstances God puts you in, and the common-sense people He puts you amongst by His providence, to bring them before God's throne and give the Spirit in you a chance to intercede for them.  In this way God is going to sweep the whole world with His saints."

My circumstances put me in a unique place to intercede on the behalf of others and allow the Spirit who is in me to intercede before the throne when I have no words.  There are peoples lives I observe on varying levels that I am called to intercede for, but the amazing thing is, His Spirit is actually doing the interceding and my life and circumstances are the vessel.  Because of a conversation I had with a dear friend of mine tonight, I am in a unique place to intercede before the Lord on her behalf and allow the Spirit to speak words I couldn't even express.  Because I went out to check the mail today (circumstances) I met my neighbor and will now be able to intercede for her.  (Incredible woman! Lost her husband of almost 55 years to an unexpected heart attack last year.  And she still trusts the Lord.  Wow.)  Because of the sweet time I had with one of my name-twins this morning, I am in a unique position to intercede before the Father on her behalf.  What an incredible new way to look at my circumstances!!  Now I look at the verse "All things work together for good to them that love God."  What if a portion of what is meant in this verse is that my perspective needs to be right?  If I am looking at my circumstances and those of others as placing me in unique positions for prayer, how can I think otherwise about all things working together for good?  And the best part about this?  It's not just my unique position.  It's each believer's unique position!  For the two or three people who will read this, it's your unique position if you love God.  You have a unique opportunity to pray for that co-worker who you bumped into at the copier and had a random conversation about her hectic morning with the kids.  And you have a unique opportunity to pray special blessings over that friend who just came to you with exciting news about a big change in her life.  And you have a unique opportunity to pray for that neighbor you meet while checking your mail on a Saturday afternoon.  Look at your circumstances, where do you see unique opportunities?