The patience of Abraham....

A few months ago, God gave me an answer to a question (actually, it's probably more a request) that I had been asking for several years now.  The peace and joy that suddenly flowed over me was wonderful! I finally had God's blessing to move forward into something I had desired for a very long time.  And then it happened.  THE WAIT.  Five months later, I'm still in the midst of The Wait.  In that time, I'm afraid I haven't handled things all that well all the time.  There has been hurt, anger, confusion, questions and wonderings.  Did I hear incorrectly?  Am I missing something?  Have I just not put myself out there enough?  What more do I need to do to cause this to happen?  Am I doing too much?  And then the BIG question wormed it's way into my heart and my head.  Can I really trust Him?  Can I really trust my Savior, my Creator, my Lord?  The question had rooted itself quite deeply before I honestly realized it was there.  And I'm sorry to say, I probably ignored it and then entertained it much too long.  In the midst of my "snow day" activities today (once again stuck in the house), I was reminded of a favorite hymn.  It is Well.  I was then reminded of men of faith who's faith caused them to either do crazy things for the Lord (Noah built a giant boat and told people it would rain, when it had never rained before) or hold out for a very long time (Abraham and the promise of a son).  I went to Hebrews 11, always a challenging chapter, and read of the faith of our forefathers.  Of the men and women who trusted God and His promises.  At first I began to feel horrible, tiny and very weak.  (The weak part is something I'm glad I've felt.) How could I even think that God was not trustworthy?  I've been waiting 5 months for Him to fulfill a promise He gave me when Abraham waited years!  Look at Abraham's faith and look at mine (once again the game of comparison that I'm unfortunately SO good at).  As I began to feel terrible about my lack of trust, God brought to mind the whole story of Abraham.  Abraham had faith, but it doesn't mean he didn't mess up in the midst of the waiting.  He took matters into his own hands and that's how he got Ishmael.  (Just as a side note, he waited another 14 years after Ishmael was born for Isaac, the son God had promised him.)  Abraham messed up and tried to hurry God's plan.  But God still accomplished His plan and fulfilled His promise and counted Abraham's faith as righteousness.  I've had a time of repentance with the Lord for my lack of faith and it has been sweet.  There is forgiveness there.  Now I look ahead to what He has and I pray for the patience of Abraham.