My "White Funeral"

Last night I read the January 15th post in My Utmost for His Highest and stopped in my tracks.  Chambers was talking about a White Funeral and I immediately knew this was something I've been needing lately in my life.  He defines a White Funeral as "the burial of the old life....a death with only one resurrection-a resurrection into the life of Jesus Christ".  As I read the beginning I told myself, "You've done this, you've given your life to missions, to orphans, to discipling people.  You've done this." And then God got me. (He has an uncanny way of doing that sometimes.)  The very next sentence I read said this, "You must agree with God and stop being the intensely striving kind of Christian you have been.  We avoid the cemetery and continually refuse our own death.  It will not happen by striving, but by yielding to death."  Am I a Christian? Absolutely!  Am I questioning that here? Absolutely not!  But have I had this definable moment when I have "come to my last days"?  A day that I can mark as my last day?  I love what Oswald says next, and as a result of this, I will always mark January 15th as my White Funeral.

"Is there a place in your life to which you go back in memory with humility and overwhelming gratitude, so that you can honestly proclaim, 'Yes, it was then, at my 'white funeral', that I made an agreement with God.'.....Once you truly realize this is God's will, you will enter into the process of sanctification as a natural response.  Are you willing to experience that 'white funeral' now?  Will you agree with Him that this is your last day on earth?  The moment of agreement depends on you." ~ Oswald Chambers

Thinking Dangerous Thoughts...

Tonight I find myself surrounded by questions.  Questions that I "should" know the answer to and yet I feel there is something out there, just barely out of reach.  Today I've spent a good portion of my day talking to people who are just starting to scratch the surface of what it means to be involved in the orphan crisis around the world.  Some of them are still asleep, but God will awaken their hearts when it is time.  Others are starting to awaken and are looking for direction on what to do with that.  And all of a sudden, I've become "responsible" to walk alongside them for whatever period God has for us and help them discover God's heart for the orphan and their role in becoming an advocate.  This has been my job and ultimately my passion for the last year, but for some reason today it weighs heavier on my heart and my mind than it ever has before.  I'm responsible.

Now, I want to flesh out this "responsible" thing here a little.  I'm not saying that if I don't do this, God won't still work in these people's lives.  I'm not saying that I'm required for God's heart for the orphan to be spoken, even shouted, from the rooftops.  He doesn't need me.  But He has chosen me and He loves me enough to use me in His plans.  And that is where the responsibility comes in.  What I say to these people, what I do with my life, even how I do the behind the scenes portion of my ministry is all under the scrutiny of God's higher calling.  He's called me to disciple people in their walk for a season. This is a BEAUTIFUL and DAUNTING responsibility. 

So I find myself asking the question, does my life live up to this responsibility?  Am I adequately preparing myself?  Am I seeking daily, even hourly, what God would have me share with these people?  I'm beginning to realize that I've failed deeply in some areas with this.  And then only failed in a minor way in other areas. :)  I'm being called deeper and I don't really know what to do with that.  Where to take it, what that means, what do I do?  Except to once again lay it at the feet of the Lord and ask Him to help me.

Something big is coming up.........I'm praying He will give me eyes to see it.

Preparing for Haiti

Just a few hours ago I completely my last conference call with my team before we leave for Haiti this Friday.  I have to admit, it was a little bitter sweet. :)  I get to meet them in person on Friday for the first time (which I VERY excited about) and we'll have a call or two like this when we get back (so it's not over), but I realize that this is it.  Whatever wisdom I've hoped to impart better have been "imparted" by now, whatever stories, whatever trip details, whatever period.  And as I look back on all of the calls I am reminded that none of the wisdom that was shared was my wisdom (or even came out of my mouth many times), none of the details are my details, none of the stories were mine.  What has happened with our team has all been God.  God brought these 14 precious people together to form an amazing team from Evanston, IL.  God put the desire in each of our hearts to serve the orphan.  God taught us along the way what His will, even His command, and His heart is in relation to the orphan.  And God is the one who is responsible for the details.  Each of us has worked and planned for this trip, but ultimately God is the one that holds the timetable and the details.

As I look ahead to this week, I think of all of the details I need to take care of, money I need to plan for, and things I need to pack.  But my prayer not only for myself, but for our team is that we will remember why we are going above all the last minute details.  We are going to Learn, to Seek and to Defend.  Lord, help us remember!

Kony.....What should our response be?

So, I'm having a little trouble sleeping tonight (again) so I did what I do every night that I have trouble sleeping. Check out Facebook. And in the midst of checking Facebook, I once again see everything that is popping up about Kony and the video done by Invisible Children. I'm reading opinions on both sides of the argument. This is a good thing, this is a bad thing. (And yes, I will be up front and say, I did repost the video.)

Here's my reaction to both sides. Do I think Invisible Children has the best answer to the situation and we should look past everything and just accept what they present us as truth? No. Do I think the fact that Invisible Children has funded other governments or that they are calling out for the arrest (note arrest, people, not death) of a very evil man means they are showing an "un-Christian attitude" towards Kony? Do I think we should just pray that God convicts his soul and leave it at that? Definitely no! Friends, until you have been to the country and seen children who had potential to be affected by Kony (I didn't even see the ones who were), it's hard to understand. But where is our cry for justice? Do I pray that God will get ahold of Kony's heart and change him? Yes. Do I think just praying for this and then forgetting about it tomorrow is right? No. We are called, actually commanded, to cry out for justice for these children. We are commanded to stand up for them, to seek justice, to defend the orphan and the widow. We are called to be active in this war against injustice. Not just sit back and pray that God will change these people. Please don't hear me say that prayer is not important. It is VITAL to changing our world and I pray that as people see this video go viral about Kony that they will pray for him. But PLEASE do not leave it there. Does Invisible Children have all the answers and have this entire thing correct? No. But at least they're taking a stand and making an attempt to cry out for justice and that's something I deeply respect about what they are doing with this video.

What would you do if the cries of your children were not being heard? If YOUR children were kidnapped and forced to kill you and their siblings? If they were boys, they would be forced to kill over and over again. And if they were girls they would be demeaned to a life as a sex slave. We would be outraged if that happened here in the US. We would be screaming at the top of our lungs for justice for our children. For someone who is responsible for these crimes against our children to be called into account for his actions. Why is it so different for the children who don't live with our borders? Why are we not screaming at the top of our lungs for justice for these children who are affected DEEPLY by war, sex-trafficking, AIDS, child soldiering, slavery, and the list could go on and on. These things don't just happen in Uganda, they happen around the world. Kony isn't the only person who should be called into account for their actions, but he's a good place to start.

Church, don't let our cry be "Jesus change their hearts!" and then we turn away. Let our cry be a battle cry against the injustices done against our children, our orphans, our own spread around the world. Yes, pray for a supernatural change in their hearts, but don't stand idly by and see it as "their problem". Speak out! Scream if you have to! I've seen some of these children in person and I now dream about them. And I will scream at the top of my lungs in support of anyone who will help these little ones.

Does Invisible Children have all the answers? No, but at least they have found their voice and are taking their stand. Where is your voice? How are you going to take your stand and speak for justice in our world? Is. 1:17, James 1:27, Psalms 68:5, Deut. 24:17, Psalm 10:17-18. Just scratching the surface. Read them and tell me if saying a prayer and moving on with our lives is the answer to the crises of our children in this world.

Blog post for the World Orphans Page...

Here's a post I wrote for the World Orphans blog.  Thought I'd post it here too. :)

Eddie is a small boy in a government orphanage in Uganda.  Eddie isn’t his real name.  I haven’t changed his name for protection reasons, I’ve given him a name because no one knew his name.  Eddie walked up to me the moment I walked through the gates that morning.  His petite, dark features were beautiful and yet he never once smiled.  He took my hand and from that moment he had my heart as well.  When I asked the caretakers his name, they said they didn’t know.  When I asked the other children, they didn’t know either.  I asked him and he wouldn’t speak a word.  I eventually called him Eddie because he stands back and watches others interact, the same way my Pappa used to.  No one knew Eddie’s story, no one knew why he was there except that he seemed to have no where else to go.  He was one of too many, He was lost in the crowd and it would probably not be noticed if he was there or not.

Dorcas has been abandoned by her mother.  She’s three years old and you can’t explain to her why her mother left, she just knows she’s gone.  She attached herself to one of our short term team members and when we left, it was a very tearful goodbye.  But Dorcas’ story differs from Eddie’s.  Dorcas has a name that people know.  She isn’t lost in the crowd because she has a church family that loves her, that cares for her.  They provide for her, not only physically but spiritually and emotionally.  They love her and call her by name.  They notice when she is having a particularly difficult time and they comfort her.  She is still an orphan, but she is an orphan who has been adopted into a family of faith.

See the difference when the body of Christ steps in and fulfills their calling?  An orphan has a name, she is loved, cared for and pointed towards a God who loves her infinitely more than anyone here on earth ever could.  What a difference from the life Eddie will have.  Yes, Eddie will have a roof over his head and yes, Eddie will eat some of the time.  But what will happen to Eddie as a result of being lost in the crowd?  My heart aches when I see his face.  He not only represents so many orphans in this world who are not told that they are valued by an ever-present God, but he is an individual child I long to wrap my arms around and tell this truth until I know he understands.  I can’t wrap my arms around every orphan in this world, but the church can.  Will you wrap your arms around a child today?

My tax dollars....

OK, so this is a topic that I generally stear clear of: politics. But then again, do taxes really fall under "politics"? Well, that's a discussion for another time, today what I'm talking about does fall under politics. :)

So, after reading an article about tax dollars being re-routed from abortion clinics to true family planning practices, I began to wonder. I mean, is it possible to refuse to pay taxes on the grounds that you don't agree morally with what they are spending your money on? OK, go with me here for a minute (and yes, I do remember that Jesus said to render unto Ceasar what is Ceasar's). I'm merely thinking outloud (or on paper I guess...) :) I realize that technically all of our tax money supposedly goes into this big pot and then the budget is divy-ed out from there (and amazingly it grows an extra few trillion while its in there to spend....oh wait, no that money isn't really in the pot.....but I digress). :) Anyway, the likelihood of "my money" going to an entity that I don't morally agree with (i.e. an abortion clinic or whatever) is pretty slim. I could technically say it's my neighbor's money that is going to that clinic and mine is going to cancer research or something that is not exactly in the moral realm. But what if my money did go to the abortion clinic? (I'm not trying to make this posting about abortion, I'm merely using it as an example due to the article I just read.) I'm not sure I know what to do with that thought. Our governmental leaders are there because someone said, "I trust you to do this." But can I trust my government's leaders to not do something I don't agree with? Can I trust them to spend my tax money the way I see it should be spent? These are all questions that are running through my mind at the moment. Don't worry, I'm not going to be thrown in jail for tax evasion (not that I make enough for it to be worth them messing with me). I will be paying my taxes. But it's reminded me even more how necessary it is that we pray for the leaders of our country. Pray that God will give them wisdom and courage to stand for what is right. And remember that untimately God is in control, no matter what. Just a random thought on Wednesday afternoon. :)

A Spiritual Reminder from Facebook?

I was checking a few messages on Facebook today and randomly looked up to the right hand corner.  I've only recently noticed FB doing this thing where they show you former posts from your friends, etc.  Today I saw, for the first time, the line "On this day in 2010" and below it is my status from that day, "It is a safe thing to trust Him to fulfill the desire which He creates. ~ Amy Carmichael".  Last August, I had no idea what adventure He would take me on in a mere 12 months!  He created a desire in my heart to share His love with the world, especially with His little children who don't have parents or family to love on them.  He created a desire for discipleship, a desire to see men and women who are the body of Christ grow in their love for Him and their love for others.  To see a people who put Christ first in their lives rise up and love those around them, take care of them, seek justice for them.  All of these things were desires in my heart and 12 months later He is in the midst of providing for me to live out these desires in my work with Journey117 (World Orphans).  I've been so caught up in the present of raising support and preparing to move to Denver that I have forgotten to look back sometimes.  I look back and see where God has taken me and it makes me smile.  It reminds me deep in my heart that God is faithful, He is trustworthy and even when I don't see it (as I didn't back in August of 2010), He will fulfill the desire He has created.  Thank you Facebook (and Amy Carmichael) for the good reminder today of the blessing of a God who is in control and a God who is faithful.